First, this just in (and it's sarcastic-free good news this time): The creepo troll man that tried to outbid me and SuziQ's coworkers at the date auction is super serious about taking her out on a date. He contacted Captain (SuziQ's male coworker who took the lead in bidding for us that night) and pleaded with him to sell SuziQ's date for an even higher amount.
At first we wanted to save SuziQ from a potentially awkward date with a stranger, but she's being a good sport at the idea of reselling herself at a higher price to a stranger so that her friends may make a profit. The catch? Captain and I will have to spy on SuziQ and her troll date to make sure nothing too out of the ordinary happens. Should the scene get sketchy, Captain and I will swoop in to rescue her from the troll's wicked clutches.
I've never spied on a friend before, with or without their knowledge, but I'm pretty excited about this and am already scheming my and Captain's attire for the evening. See, we could go in normal business attire and blend with the post-work happy hour crowd. But this would be neither a) fun nor b) exciting, which I believe spies are. I'm in the market for a long rain coat (with appropriate over sized collar for popping), Jackie-O inspired sunglasses, and a plith hat. I realize this is a ridiculous outfit, both for spying and for 80 degree DC weather. But, these items will serve as a fitting cover-up for our real spy costumes, which the world will see once we shed our overcoats. Captain, check it out:
no, unf these cats weren't at adult prom
I'm gonna let that image sink in while I move on to the last and final randomly unrelated piece of this post.
How much did you love the show "Tough Love" on VH-1?! I didn't catch on until the final episodes, but Lordy was I hooked once I did. Anytime someone tries to "help" "stereotypical" women with their "relationship problems" using his/her "expertise" viewers are in for some entertainment.Well, anyway, while I wait in great anticipation for the second coming, I want to put out (that's what she said) the word on the street that JoAnn Ward and her matchmaking assistant and son, Steven, will be in DC offering a tough love seminar for all you socially awkward, gold-digging, bridezilla, hookers.
pic taken from the city paper
8 comments:
Oh no! Creepy troll man? Suzi Q is a good sport indeed.
I've crashed a few dates in my day... one included stalking, asking the waitress to take a photo of the [miserable] couple with MY digital camera then surprising my friend with groucho marx glasses.
K- I am not at all suprised, and if you lived a little closer I'd extent the spying invite to you.
Good call on the red bondage outfits - completely inconspicuous! I can also see you doing a short Raquel Welch style hair do like Samantha in SATC :) Or if you're a Real Housewives fan, packing a pair of big ass binoculars in your purse for the occassion.
PLT- How could I forget binoculars?! I may even need to consider night vision if the date is in a romantic, low lit venue.
And yet you didn't pick the most ridiculous outfit from the Jersey Prom Night photo series as your spy costume, which I think is a toss up between the exposed preggers belly dress and the *ahem* large lady in what appears to be a modified Hanes T-shirt exposing a generous portion of bottom boob. And I apologize if this sounds harsh, but I have the feeling that you don't have the body to pull off either of those outfits.
JFo- Whatever man. It's not like you have the hair for corn rowing, or the shiny grill to accompany me anyway.
(PS I damn near cried when you mentioned the pregger dress. Everytime I see it, I get queezy)
he he he ha ha ha OHHH lordy ... Im Shercock and Porkstar is Holmes .. together we are the ultimate spies - we need to write a book .. course outcome would be 2 totally different stories LMAO
um can we please go to the tough love seminar? perhaps joanna can match me with stephen himself!
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